Light
by Yoneko Kimishima
Summary: ONESHOT I had finally found my light. Too bad she had already found hers. Onesided Touya x Yukina, Kuwabara x Yukina


**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any related characters.**

_Light_

Her crimson eyes were the first thing I noticed about her. They were so large and bright that they caught my eye immediately. It was at the Dark Tournament I first saw her. She was part of the cheering squad for Team Urameshi. The second thing I noticed was her smile, the corners of her mouth cutely turning upward. She was beautiful and when I saw her get on the boat leaving Hanging Neck Island, I suddenly wished the Dark Tournament had never ended.

The next time I saw her was over three years later, at Yusuke's wedding. I saw many familiar faces: Kazuma Kuwabara, who was the best man, Kurama, Chu, Rinku, Jin, Shishiwakamaru, Suzuka, Genkai, and the other girls who had cheered for Yusuke's team during the Dark Tournament. The beautiful girl with crimson eyes was one of the bridesmaids and the kimono I had seen her wear years ago was replaced by an elegant pink dress. Her hair had grown longer and was kept in a tight braid going down her back. As I sat in a fold-out chair during the ceremony, I admit that my attention wasn't solely on Yusuke and his bride. Occasionally, I would steal a glance at the girl with radiant eyes.

As the ceremony dragged on, I felt a bit of jealousy toward Yusuke. He had found happiness and love with a woman. He had found the girl he felt was his destiny, his soul mate. I must confess I had never found a girl suitable for me in all my years in the Demon World. I had closed myself off from women, for I felt that being a shinobi was my first priority.

But things were different now and I felt emptiness. During the Demon World Tournament, I had felt content with myself through fighting, since that had always been my lifestyle. I thought I had found my light in the darkness. But once things had become at peace in the Demon World, that light quickly faded and the darkness engulfed me once again. I knew I had to find something else, something new to be the light in my life and guide me, but I wasn't even sure of what I was looking for.

After Yusuke and his new wife, Keiko, were officially wed I walked over to congratulate the new couple then got a glass of wine. I saw the beautiful girl with red eyes talking to Kuwabara. He had a large grin plastered on his face as he babbled in her presence, the girl occasionally giggling at what he said. Her laugh was like that of a child, pure and innocent. The more times I looked at the girl, the more she intrigued me. Once Kuwabara had finished talking to her and walked off to pat Yusuke on the back, I took a sip of wine then approached the girl.

"Excuse me," I said calmly, "but I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting."

The girl looked up at me and smiled warmly. "Oh, I remember you!" she said brightly. "You were the ice fighter, back at the Dark Tournament." She then blushed rather sheepishly as she murmured, "I forgot your name though…sorry."

I smiled, humored by her demure behavior. "You don't have to apologize. My name is Touya. And who might you be?"

The girl smiled once more. "Yukina. It's very nice to formally meet you, Touya-san."

Even her name was beautiful. "Likewise, Yukina-san." I took slow sips from my wine glass, trying to think of what to say to her. But she spoke first.

"They look so happy, don't they?" She gestured to Yusuke and his new wife, who were dancing close together.

"Yeah . . ." It was true. The whole time that Yusuke and his wife looked at each other they had smiles on their faces. There was something different about Yusuke. There was almost a glint in his eyes; it was faint, but it was there. It was almost as if his eyes were emitting light, a warm glow as he looked at his wife; she returned the glow with a similar look in her eyes. Perhaps that is how Yusuke found his light, by finding it in another person.

My thoughts were interrupted by Yukina's soft voice. "Touya-san, may I ask you a question?"

I glanced down at her. "Of course." I pressed my wine glass to my lips and drank.

Yukina looked down at her hands, looking rather embarrassed. "I-I was just wondering . . . these humans, and their custom of marriage, well . . . have you ever considered it?"

I nearly spat out my wine. We had just met and she is talking about marriage. The human custom as marriage is just as significant as accepting someone as your permanent mate in the Demon World. "I . . . I haven't given it much thought," I confessed lightly, regaining my composure.

"I see," mumbled Yukina, looking once again at Yusuke and Keiko. She sighed a bit. "Sorry if my question bothered you, it's just that seeing how happy those two are together, it makes me wonder if I could be that happy with someone." She laughed to herself. "No one in my homeland married, yet I feel a strong desire to." Yukina peered up at me. "Do you think that's strange?"

I looked at her and succumbed to those brilliant red eyes. Smiling a bit, I shook my head. "It's not strange, Yukina-san," I said, draining what was left of my wine. "Sometimes, we have to choose our own destinies, despite what tradition or other people say. This is your life—you should live it how you want. And if that means finding a husband then don't be afraid of what others may think or say."

Yukina beamed; her entire face had this pleasant glow to it. "Thank you, Touya-san," she said gratefully. "You're very nice to talk to."

"As are you," I replied, smiling a bit.

She cast me an adorable smile.

"Yukina-san!"

It was Kuwabara's voice. He was frantically waving, gesturing her to come over. Yukina looked at me and bowed her head. "Excuse me, but I must go. Maybe we'll see each other again sometime."

And just like that she walked away, over to Kuwabara. I watched the two intently, more so Yukina than Kuwabara. From the looks of it, he was asking her to dance. She reacted by nodding her head and taking his hand. I felt a certain anger rise inside of me. I glanced down at my empty wine cup and decided to get more.

The next time I saw Yukina was months later at Genkai's funeral. The former spiritualist had died of old age. It was depressing to see everyone there in black. I was surprised to see Hiei here, since he didn't bother going to Yusuke's wedding.

Nearly everyone was sobbing, more so the women than the men. Yukina looked very pained as she stared at the grave. She was crying, her tears turning into small gems before hitting the ground. To my surprise, Hiei said something to her and she managed to smile weakly. It was truly strange to see him show kindness to her, especially when he gently patted her shoulder before walking off. Kuwabara was the next one to comfort her, putting his arm around her and rubbing her arm in a soothing fashion.

I was jealous. I wanted to be the man comforting her. I wanted to hold her close to me. But I couldn't. Not yet anyway. I wasn't sure of it before, but now I was confident. I wanted to formally court Yukina before another man claimed her hand. From the looks of things, Kuwabara seemed to be very interested in her, but whether she returned his feelings or not, I didn't know. All I knew was I'd better move fast, before I lost her.

Kuwabara had left her side to comfort Keiko, who was crying so much that her body trembled. Now that she was alone, I strode over to Yukina's side.

"Are you well?" I asked, concerned for her.

She wiped away the tears in her eyes. "I suppose," she said a in a quiet, brittle voice. "I just can't believe she's gone, you know?"

"She lived a long life and she went peacefully," I assured her.

"Yes, but still!" Tears streamed from her eyes once more. Sniffling, she said, "I was living with her, and when she died . . . I felt so alone."

To soothe her I put her in a firm embrace. She blushed at our contact and I can't deny that I did as well. It may have seemed forward, too intimate of a gesture, but I couldn't stop myself. "You aren't alone," I said quietly. "You never will be. Your life is filled with people who care about you."

Yukina sniffled then embraced me back. "You're right," she said, slowly letting go. "Thank you, Touya-san." She smiled. For the first time at the funeral, she genuinely smiled. It made me smile as well, for I had done something for her that no one else had done at the funeral. I made her smile.

Another month or so passed and Kurama was hosting a Christmas party. I wasn't going to go, but Jin insisted that I did. "After all," he had said, "isn't yer itty-bitty snow girl goin' ta' be there?" I felt a bit out of place at the party. Christmas was a human holiday celebrated with candy canes and giving each other gifts. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves: Chu became particularly fond of a drink called eggnog; Yusuke and Keiko were cuddling on the couch by the fire; Shishiwakamaru and Suzuka were arguing over who had nicer hair; Jin was floating around as he chatted with Botan and Shizuru; Kuwabara was handing Yukina a wrapped gift; Hiei was lounging on the windowsill; and Kurama was explaining the history of Christmas to Rinku.

I took no part in the festivities, merely watching from an armchair slightly distant from the others. I absently stared into the fireplace at the crackling flames.

"Touya-san," said a shy voice.

I looked up to see Yukina standing in front of me. She smiled warmly, her eyes full of mirth. "Is this your very first Christmas?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I must admit, the humans have rather odd customs. Decorating trees? How ridiculous."

Yukina laughed. "Yes, it does all seem rather silly, but it's a nice holiday. You shouldn't be here all by yourself."

I shook my head. "It's ok. I'm fine here, Yukina-san."

Yukina frowned a bit. "You know, Hiei-san had his first Christmas two years ago." She looked over her shoulder at him then looked back at me. "He was like you, sat away from us all and said he didn't want any part of it. But after awhile, he loosened up and now he comes back from Demon World to celebrate Christmas with us."

I laughed lightly. "Well, if even Hiei can enjoy this day, I suppose I could lighten up as well."

Yukina's eyes lit up with joy. "Oh, I'm so glad to hear that, Touya-san!" She looked over her shoulder at the large adorned tree in the corner of the room. "I'll be right back. Close your eyes!"

Normally I wouldn't submit to such nonsense, but Yukina was different. Giving her a warm smile, I nodded and closed my eyes. A few seconds later, I heard her voice again. "Ok, you can open your eyes."

I did as she said and she was standing in front of me, holding a box wrapped in green paper with a red bow on it. "Merry Christmas, Touya-san."

I was taken aback by her gesture. She had gotten me a gift. Immediately I felt terrible since I hadn't gotten her—or anyone else for that matter—anything. She put the package in my lap and smiled. "Yukina-san, I can't accept this," I said, putting the gift back into her hands. "I didn't get you anything, I'm sorry."

Yukina shook her head. "Don't be sorry—I want you to have this," she said firmly, forcing the present back into my hands. "Please just open it. It will mean so much to me, Touya-san."

I was about to decline again but she looked at me with those pleading, beautiful eyes. Sighing heavily, I forged a smile. "Ok, Yukina-san." She smiled gleefully as I carefully pulled at the green paper. Inside was a cardboard box. I removed the lid and saw a well-knit light blue scarf. "Yukina-san . . ." I said, stroking it softly.

She couldn't contain her joy; it was practically flooding the room. "Do you like it?" she asked, holding it up for me. I took it in my hands and looked at it.

"Yes, I do. Thank you so much." Examining it closer, I noticed no tag on it. Didn't most human clothes come with tags? Unless . . . unless she didn't purchase it. "Yukina-san . . . did you make this yourself?"

Yukina nodded with a smile almost too big for her face. "Yes! You see, I decided to pick up a hobby after Genkai passed on. Keiko bought me books about knitting and, well, I just picked up on it. It's something I love doing."

I was very touched by her gift. To please her, I wrapped it around my neck. "Perfect fit," I said, smiling at her. Yukina was gushing with happiness.

"I'm so glad Touya-san!" I felt myself blush when her soft fingers gripped my wrist. "Come join us," she said, gesturing toward the others. Reluctantly, I got up and followed her.

"Well, well, ol' Frosty is goin' be joinin' us!" said Jin, his ears perky as ever.

Yusuke glanced over at me. "Look who's decided to join the party!" He laughed and so did I. Then his eyes fell upon something near the ceiling. Yusuke got a wide grin on his face. "Ooh, lookie, lookie!" he said, pointing up. Both Yukina and I looked up. There was a strange green plant with berries on it. I raised an eyebrow, confused by everyone's sudden grins, as well as Hiei and Kuwabara's scowls.

"A plant?" I asked, sounding a bit stupid.

Kurama chuckled. "Not just any plant, I'm afraid. Mistletoe."

"Mistle-what?" I asked, staring at the small plant again.

"Mistletoe!" said Botan with a sly smile. "If two people get caught under it, it's Christmas tradition for them to kiss!"

Kiss? I hadn't even begun courting Yukina yet! I felt heat rising in my cheeks and my so-called friends were all laughing; Yukina looked rather embarrassed as well. "Looks like tonight's your lucky night, mate," said Chu, winking at Touya.

I turned to Yukina, my face still rather red. Coughing into my fist I mumbled, "Umm, must we?"

"Yes, _must_ they?" said Hiei scathingly.

"It's tradition!" argued Botan. "Of course they do!"

I swallowed hard, feeling nervousness ran through my veins.

"I guess we have to then . . ." mumbled Yukina, looking up at me.

"I guess so . . ." I craned my neck, lowering my face toward Yukina's.

"Alright, Touya! Let's see some tongue action—OW! Keiko, I was kidding!"

I glanced over to see Yusuke rubbing the back of his head. "Yusuke, did you consider this might be Yukina's very first kiss?"

Botan gasped. "Oh, I'd completely forgotten." She turned her attention to Yukina. "Don't worry, sweetie. You can just give him a little peck on the cheek."

Yukina smiled at Botan. I was relieved that the pressure was taken off, but still, I felt a bit disappointed I wouldn't be kissing Yukina. Sheepishly, Yukina stood on her tiptoes and I felt her lips gently press a kiss against my cheek. Almost everyone clapped and I felt my cheeks turning red. As I walked by Jin, he whispered in my ear, "'Tis a shame ye didn' get that kiss ye wanted."

"Shut up, Jin," I grumbled, walking away from them.

A few more hours passed before I approached Yukina again. "Yukina-san, I thought of what I could give you," I said, holding out my hand. It was empty, so she looked at me confused. "Just watch." She looked at my bare palm attentively. Manipulating my demon energy, I caused ice to rise from my hand and I twisted it in order to shape it. Once I was done, there was a neatly carved ice rose in my hand.

"That was amazing, Touya-san!" she said in awe.

I couldn't help but smile shyly. "Thank you, Yukina-san." I placed the ice rose in her hand. "It's made from my own ice so it won't melt, but it is fragile so please take care of it."

Smiling fondly, she murmured, "I will Touya-san."

A few weeks later, I stopped by the temple to give Yukina a visit. Normally I only saw her at gatherings but I wanted to make sure she was holding up well. Besides, it would be easier to propose courting her in the privacy of the temple. I knocked lightly on the door and Yukina greeted me warmly and invited me inside.

She led me into the living room where we sat down to talk.

"How have you been?" I asked her, glancing around the room.

"I've been doing well," she said honestly.

The temple seemed so much emptier since Genkai's passing. "Do you get lonely, being here by yourself?"

Yukina shrugged. "A bit, but Kazuma always stops by after his classes."

So Kuwabara came here every day? Did he also wish to court Yukina? I wouldn't have doubted it, since I knew he had strong feelings for her. Yukina looked at me with a worried look. "Are you well? You look . . . angry."

I shook it off, trying to prevent jealousy from creeping onto my face. "No, no, just tired." I feigned a yawn.

Yukina nodded. She looked at me again, gasped, then smiled with content. "You're wearing the scarf I made you!"

I absently touched the gift she had given me not too long ago. "Yes, I enjoy it very much. Thank you again, Yukina-san."

Yukina's eyes were practically glowing with pride. "At first I was unsure about it, you know? It sounds rather silly—making a scarf for an ice demon that is surely adapted to the cold. But I wanted to make you something nice." I smiled at her as she continued. "I still have the rose you gave me. I appreciate it very much."

"It was nothing," I assured her.

After that, neither one of us seemed to know what to say. Silence dominated the room for the next few minutes.

"Touya-san?"

"Yes?"

"What are you looking for in life?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, feeling rather confused. "That's a deep question, Yukina-san. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she apologized frantically. "I was just curious. I mean—forget it, I'm sorry I bothered you." She began to walk away, but I didn't want her to go just yet.

"Stay," I insisted. Slowly, she seated herself back down. "It's no trouble Yukina-san—I was just caught off guard." Once she seemed relaxed, I continued. "What I'm looking for is light. It is a bit difficult for me to explain. You see shinobi live their lives'in the shadows 'if you will. There is a certain darkness that always follows us and to free ourselves from it, we must seek out light.

"The light has an indefinite form. It could be something material or something not. Something you cannot see but feel. Once you have found light, you have found contentment with your life and the choices you have made. It makes your life worth it, because once you find the light, you'll want to protect it so that it never goes out."

I fell silent after that; Yukina-san only stared at me.

"That's beautiful, Touya-san. It's very profound."

"Your kind words flatter me."

Yukina looked at me shyly. Gods, was she adorable! "Touya-san . . . do you think that I could find light?"

"I don't see why not. Everyone deserves to find light. It's just easier for some than others when it comes to finding it."

Yukina's eyes practically glittered. "I see . . . do you think Yusuke and Keiko have found light? With each other, I mean."

I nodded. "Yes, I believe they were fated to be each other's light in the darkness."

Yukina's crimson eyes stared into mine. She smiled softly. "Maybe someday, we'll both find our light, Touya-san."

At that moment, I couldn't help but smirk. I had already found my light. It was here, right in front of me.

"Yes, someday, Yukina-san."

The following week I knew I could delay it no longer. I _had _to tell Yukina-san that she was my light and I wanted to court her. I went to the temple and knocked on the door. She didn't answer. Somewhat puzzled, I looked around the courtyard and failed to find her. I walked down the stairs and proceeded toward the beach. Maybe the sunset would relax me.

As I walked closer and closer, I saw a very familiar pair of eyes—crimson eyes, full of happiness and light.

Yukina.

I was about to call out to her, when I noticed she was with Kuwabara. I squinted, wondering why they were walking so close. Their hands were joined, their fingers interlaced with each other. As they turned to each other, I noticed both of their faces. Yukina's smile seemed even more dazzling and with the sunset hitting her, she seemed to emit a comforting glow. I then looked at Kuwabara. In his rather small eyes, I caught it. It was a glimmer of light.

Turning my back on them and the dying sun, I felt my heart sinking.

I had finally found my light.

Too bad she had already found hers.

_-Yoneko Kimishima_


End file.
